he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
