Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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