the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
