he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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