He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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