yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
