Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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