Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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