I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
