New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
