I need help removing her.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
