so explain again why im purple
no
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
