Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
