That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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