I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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