Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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