Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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