Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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