Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
