I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
