no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
