did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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