My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My Sexting was not on an AP level
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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