Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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