Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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