no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
