I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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