I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
