i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
COCAINE IS GR8
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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