Pregnant stripper...not hot.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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