final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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