I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
