The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
