If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
