Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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