Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
