Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
