found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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