I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
