i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
