You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize