If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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