well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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