Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
