I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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