I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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