What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
