remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize