Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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