i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
