first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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