for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
