You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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