Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
home. puking in laundry basket.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
