i just google imaged poop.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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