apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
