My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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