Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Houston, we have a squirter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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