Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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