Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do vagina's smell?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
two words: eviction party
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
