DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
