Umm I'm too high to move.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize