i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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