My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
