I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
