I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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