i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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