is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
