His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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