U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so that wasnt chicken after all
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
