Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
