...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
