How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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