I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
