Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
