Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Farmville is her only friend.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
